Posted by: Damon Whitsell | June 30, 2015

POETRY by Damon Whitsell

wesley

These poems have been online for a long time (THANK YOU SIR). But because the site owner is a mental health advocate with his own mental health issues and he degenerated to where he no longer maintains the site or accepts new poems, I thought I should preserve these and chose to do so here, of all my sites, where they will be most read.

These poems are a peace of my heart and soul. I hope you like them. They are all dedicated to Wesley Glen Whitsell (I DID IT ALL FOR YOU) and DAYBREAK is dedicated to Karen Aldridge who took her own life on June 8th 2015. You are both loved more than you know. Especially Wes, I can guarantee it.

POTHER

I’m stimulated but frustrated
It’s so hard when I think I’m not seeing far
To correlate it, I separate it
I thought I saw now I think I didn’t see at all

My imperfections, not my selections
Can’t you see there’s a raging war inside of me?
A new position, a retransition
I know I could be right, I could be wrong

So tell me what it means to me
Am I safe here anymore?
Something’s trying
It just won’t let me be!

Elation with aggravation
I hope I make it through this situation
I’m exited , I can’t fight it
It’s so clear that I’m going nearsighted

Is this confusion my illusion
Or is it staring here in front of me?
A new position, a retransition
My excitement is mingled with confusion!

So tell me what it means to me
Am I safe here anymore?
Something’s trying
It just won’t let me be!

Copyright 1998 Damon Whitsell

DAYBREAK

Fading stars surrender to a soft glow on the horizon
The hazy moon is slowly drawn to the place it will sleep in
The nocturnal world is about to become a morning fire dayglow
The creatures of the night hurry to find a safe place where they can go
A beautiful kind of light seems to fall from this freshly painted sky
All the flowers stand at attention to grasp some light and sigh
Many of the creature eagerly come out to honor the sun that shines
They roll around and play awhile but not enough they get behind
Instinctually they go about the things that are required for life
The whole of nature comes lovingly to enjoy this daybreak of life
The fog lifts the dew off the soggy terrain only to disipate and lose its mass
The wild flowers are relieved and awaken from the sleep the night had cast
Everything joyfully thanks this thing they love that gives them energy
Insightfully I know that this is not the force that gives light to me
Somehow I mysticly posses a way to change this light in subtle ways
I stand above the creatures who enjoy this light but can not alter its rays
Todays daybreak enlightens in a very peculiar and special way
I dream and invision this life to be more than the morning sunray
A sense of everything takes hold as the orange glow fades to blue sky
In this light I can see that something is so much greatly more than iI
With one small fleeting gaze I can see the totality of all reality
Something somewhere really is the source of this sunlit sky and me
I sense that it holds a very special feeling for me but I’m not sure why
Today I gleefully looked straight up into this most very unique sky
Never before had I seen so much of life or so wonderfully high
There was an image that filled the span of this marvelous sky
Momentarily I thought it appeared to be an image that looked like me
Then I was awed realizing that this was god, creator of the universe and me
Then suddenly a serene voice whispered from the sky and said to me
” I am your father and I have heard you speak of me and long for eternity
As today breaks I want to tell you and show you all that you mean to me
I live for you, I died for you, our pain is over, today is your daybreak to
Eternity”

Copyright1998 Damon Whitsell

This one came in a dark depression

SCARS ALL OVER ME

Lacerations on my soul
Soon to scar , got no control
Revisions in my thought control
Mangled mess I’m far from whole

Truth in my soul, I start to bleed
Take my sins away from me
I’m hostile towards insanity
Heal my wound, kill my beast

It’s all good, mind telling me
Pursue yourself you’ll be free
Insanity is reality
Before I die set me free

Look at me, I am depravity
Take away reality
Incarcerate my humanity
Now I’m scared, my soul it bleeds
There’s scars all over me!

Copyright 1999 Damon Whitsell

This one was written for and was placed in my doctors office for others

CAN’T YOU TELL

Yes, I am the one
Who needs help
I used to be strong
But tragedy stole my true self
Some I love deserted me
They became loyal to someone else
Some I will never see again
If there is not life somewhere else

Yes, I am the one
Who needs help, it is true
I worked so hard to succeed, like many do
But tragedy came along and stole that to
Now all my pretty songs, they are not new
And my paintings just don’t shine like they used to
No matter how hard I try
I just can’t feel like I used too

Yes, I am the one
Who needs help, can’t you tell
When tragedy stole myself
It left behind someone else
Sometimes I smile at you so you can’t tell
Inside my mind is a living hell
Please hear me, here my silent yell
I hope you’ll never know just how far I fell
But with you and me together,
With god, I can be myself again, can’t you tell

Copyright 1999 Damon Whitsell

This was written on a day of clarity

TODAY

Today, I can see that the sky is not black but neither is it blue over me and you, but rather a thousand shades of gray which are difficult for us to always see through.

Today, I am very thankful for this sky of gray, that I have not the the sun to always shine on me. For the sky is a reflection of myself and this life, good, bad and imperfect , looked at in any way. They are a reminder of the way things are and the way things will one day be.

Today, I release myself from self because it makes no peace in any way. Knowing that myself, imperfect and frail in mind and body I have not the way. I pray for wisdom and strength to persevere in a fallen world gone astray where I have cried out ” where is God now? Where is he? He has turned away”.

Today, I am convinced that God has not turned his back on us but rather the freedom he has given weighs its consequences upon us. Pain, suffering and evil are not from him but rather the fruit of the tree and me. How much more then will I be happy grateful when He comes with arms wide open for us to live with him for eternity!

Today, I realize that from the atrocities of this world and my afflictions I cannot escape and that I must wait for the removal of the barrier between earth and heaven and know that I have been appointed to share the truth of the way to escape and to stand in gods place here to love my fellows who suffer. Today I will love and wait!

Copyright 1998 Damon Whitsell

JESUS I LOVE YOU SO

Jesus, when I’m sad and blue
I know you will see me through
And when I’m broken on the floor
I receive you love then more

Jesus, I love you so
Jesus I know you know
My dear God you love me so
Jesus, you showed me so

How I long to be like you
But I fail right through and through
I don’t deserve your love from you
You give me love because your you

Jesus, I love you so
Jesus, I know you know
My dear god you love me so
Jesus you showed me so

Because of all the pain you felt
On the cross nothing was left
You came to save myself from me
Your the one true God for me

Jesus, I love you so
Jesus, I know you know
My dear God you love me so
Jesus, you showed me so

When I cry I know you weep
Without your love I’m incomplete
I thank you for the price you paid
That I may live with you one day

Jesus, I love you so
Jesus, I know you know
My dear God you love me so
Jesus, you showed me so

Since I’ve known you ask of me
“tell others what true love should be”
I tell them what you’ve done for me
For me and all humanity

Jesus, I love you so
Jesus, I know you know
My dear God you love me so
Jesus, you showed me so

When your angels start to sing
Sweet songs of all your love they sing
Praise for all eternity
To heaven I know I will bring

Copyright 1997 Damon Whitsell

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