I was a big Oprah fan. I think Oprah was the only person I can honestly say I followed and worshiped. I recorded every episode on DVR and looked forward to watching her show while cooking dinner.
I remember watching the episode about The Secret. I enjoyed the show, but had no interest in buying the DVD. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see it. I don’t shop for or by DVDs. I don’t buy music CDs. The collection of gospel CDs I have is from a trial period for a mail order music club or from friends. If my kids wanted a CD or DVD, they would have to really butter me up. Ok…enough of that.
So I am watching the Oprah show and this day my husband happens to be home early from work and reading his magazine. Something he hears catches his attention and the next thing I know, this man has ordered the DVD! When it arrives, we pop some popcorn and start the show.
What I heard is what I have been hearing in church! I remember telling my husband “This is everything we learn in church minus the words Jesus and God.” I was excited. I had struggled with some of the teaching at church. I couldn’t understand how my words could create my reality and shape my world. I have a temper and learned how to swear like a sailor while in the Army. When I became upset, those swear words would swim in my head and I would be itching to say them.
When the pastor spoke Proverbs 23:7 – “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he” or quoted Matthew 12:34 – “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks”, I felt crushed because I knew my thoughts were wicked towards anyone who angered me.
I learned that words are powerful and formed my circumstances. The pastor would always say we were the sum total of everything we’ve spoken or believed. He said if you don’t like what you see – change what you say. I then added to my daily confessions (New Age Positive Thought wrapped in Churchianity) …the love of Christ was shed abroad in my heart. Every prayer I said always included this statement.
I believed “The Secret” helped put all I was being taught into a simpler format. All I needed to do was insert God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Because I crafted a story in my head on how to accept the teachings of the “The Secret”, I invited friends over for a Girls Night Out. I would play the DVD and pause it to reference scripture. Some things I would reject and fast-forward. I also lent the DVD out to anyone who asked.
I am embarrassed to even share this part of my life. I was deceived and deceiving others.